Monday, January 31, 2011

To Know Him

Over the past couple of months God has placed a desire in my heart to learn more about Jesus and to truly get to know him more fully. I know that I'll never be able to fully know Christ until I pass from this life to the next, but during my life on earth I can develop a deeper intimacy with Him. Over the years that I have been a christian, I think I have taken the presence, character, and glory of Christ for granted, and I never truly sought to have a deep relationship with Him. I say this because I feel that to have a deep relationship with Christ you must know Him-just like the relationship between close friends. My life so far has been far more concerned with personal character development than getting to know Christ. Thus, it is no wonder that God has been working in my heart to show me how I have tried to tame Jesus, fit him in a "Jesus loves you" box, and keep him at a distance. Part of it, I think, is that to face Jesus directly is a scary thing. He commands some tough things--and if we take Him seriously, than we must realize that we have to obey what he teaches! Wow, that can be scary! It takes a lot of discipline and humility to love your enemies as yourself, etc. But Jesus, what he teaches, and what he did on the cross, are the center of our salvation, and our faith, and thus it makes sense that knowing Christ is of utmost importance. As God has been revealing how inadequately I know Christ, he led me to a book entitled The Jesus You Never Knew by Philip Yancy. It was a book that made me understand Jesus' life on earth much more fully, and caused me to simply be taken back by how powerful, merciful, loving, holy, and utterly breathtaking Christ is. He teaches some tough things yes, but who He is, and what He did for us sinners, is enough to bring forth a response of ready obedience. The funny thing about that though, is that I've realized that I can only obey and follow Christ through His strength and His grace! I am completely dependent on Him - even what I can do 'for Him' can only be done 'through Him'! How humbling is that... Now that God has shown me that I need to keep a steady gaze on Christ, I am even more hungry to know Him! Reading that book was helpful, and I definitly recommend it...but I feel like I will need to keep re-reading it, and re-reading the gospels (which are, of course, the main source to learn about Christ!) and getting to know Christ through his church and the poor-for all of my life. Getting to know God is a journey that will never be over until I die. He is just that mysterious and infinite and we are just that finite. I pray that God will continue to reveal himself to me-that I will be able to experience more of Him and have a deeply intimately relationship with Him! Lord, help me to care less about my own character, my own glory, and much more about your character, your glory, and just who you are. Keep my gaze on you and never let  my desire to know you more fade!

Whats in a name?

Well, it took me forever trying to decide what to name this blog. I wanted it to reflect not only me but also the purpose of my blog. At first I tried to combine the idea of grace with the notion that it is undeserved. I might have called it 'undeservedgrace" or "unmeritedgrace," but ultimately I felt that while it reflects me (a sinner saved by grace) it really doesnt reflect the purpose of this blog. What is the purpose of this blog? I just wanted a space where I could pour out all of my musings, reflections, and questions about who God is and how I am able to have a relationship with Him. I wanted my blog to reflect my desire to draw nearer to God and to get to know him more, as I am hoping that writing honestly about my faith will help me to do so. I am not even sure if I will tell anyone about this blog, but I guess we shall see! I used to have a blog solely dedicated to poetry, but decided that it was too narrow of a focus. Now I can have a section for poetry, but not limit my blog to just poetry. I am not actually that great at poetry, or art, for that matter, but I truly enjoy it and desire to honour God with something that I delight in. In any case, I am excited to see where this blog will lead. As a side note, I have a slight obsession with changing the look and feel  of my blogs, so be prepared to see this one change a lot!